General News

An Open Apology

Apology For Loss

There are tens of things that need my attention. MWS’s Doppler is on the fritz. Some business owners have closed shop for a summer retreat. MOP writers are on strike, and MAM is being renovated. Before fulfilling my pressing mayoral duties, I must apologize to my Thunder teammates for my performance in the last two games of the NBA Western Conference Finals.

Regular Season

I was a consistent cheerer during regular season games, averaging around 79% for TV viewership, 88% in t-shirt wearing, and 98% on flag flying.

I did have some issues. I struggled to accept Steven Adams’ new look and Russell Westbrook’s longer hair.

The sunset uniforms were also a tad blinding for my taste, which is a surprise because I really do like that color, but I eventually adjusted and established a solid rhythm whether we played at the Peake or away.

Post Season

My cheer performance was operating like a well-oiled machine by the time we hit playoffs. I served up some rattlesnake jam for three games against the Mavericks, three against the Spurs, and all seven against Golden State Warriors. I also wrote haikus and bought my nephew a Thunder hat.

I took issue with our team’s performance at the end of Game 2 against the Spurs. My contributions were minimal for the next two games. Had I put my personal opinion aside and prepared a Thunder-themed meal, we might not have lost Game 3.

I bounced back though because, if you care about your team, you pull yourself up. If you don’t, you’re just dead weight.

My performance against Golden State for the Western Conference Finals was a personal best. I believe the double-dredged fried pork chop with Thunder gravy helped us win Game 1 at the Oracle.

After we lost Game 2, I amped up my efforts for Game 3 and 4 by making Thunder burgers and dogs, unfollowing two people who had posted negative comments, and not calling anyone who lived in California.

During the series I flag flew despite the threat of rain, and since we only have two flagpoles in Mooseville, the Thunder flag replaced Mooseville’s when the American flag also needed to be flown in honor of Memorial Day.

What Happened

Despite my solid cheer throughout the season, I’m not happy with my performance the last two games.

For Game 5, I wore a pair of Thunder shorts I haven’t worn since 2012 when we lost to Miami in the Finals. Unbeknownst to me, wearing these shorts was a flagrant foul. I’ve since burned the cursed garment, but the damage was done.

In Game 6 my cheer changed. Though I didn’t engage in negative comment-making on social media, I had several discussions regarding how well our team performed around the Yellow House.

I didn’t reprimand my mother when she questioned Thunder’s ability to win Game 7 via a text message.

I also thought ill of two Warrior players. It was wrong to wish physical harm to Klay Thompson just because he could hit a three-point shot…11 times. And, Steph Curry’s this year’s MVP. He’s so good he even out-cheered me.

Of all the ways I dropped the ball, the turnover that hurt most was arguing with my teammates. I shouted at them through the TV like they were people I see texting and driving. I cursed and questioned judgment. This display of negativity was a cancer for morale, and it was contagious.

Moving On

I’m going to work hard during the off season so I don’t repeat the same mistakes next year. I will work on my anger management skills to better trust and respect my teammates no matter if I agree with their choices on the court or not. I look forward to helping Thunder win it all in 2017. #WeAreThunder #ThunderUp


The Mayor, OKC Thunder Team Member

General News

Swear to Not Swear Campaign


In an effort to help keep our streets clean and safe for all residents and visitors and to encourage a healthy lifestyle within our community, I’m taking a month-long pledge to cut profanity from my vocabulary.

Good Gone Bad

Swearing isn’t bad. In addition to being a healthy communication tool to express sadness, anger, and fear it can also be medicinal. Ig Nobel Peace Prize winning researchers from Keele University found that swearing helps relieve the effects of physical pain, but over-cursing can diminish the effects.

My Curse

I’ve battled swearing all my life. As a child I was a repeater, and my dad’s side of the family were sailors. Through the teens cursing was a way to rebel. Early in my career, it was a necessity to survive a harsh and often crude industry. Now, it’s a crutch I lean on when I don’t have the energy to think of a better word to express myself.

I’m Not Alone

Profanity isn’t a new thing. People have been using it for a long time. In its oldest forms profanity means “offensive words” used in a way that shows the swearer does not respect God or holy things.

The word profanity originated from classical Latin “profanus,” which means ‘desecrating what is holy,’ though English swear words tend to take a Germanic root.

The Bible mentions swearing, and Shakespeare’s plays were chalked full of it though the words are no longer deemed vulgar.

Though today’s research show men curse more than women, the swearing epidemic is widespread. It’s common and often used in humor and pop culture. Regardless of the positives of swearing or how many people swear on a regular basis, at its root, profanity is offensive.

Breaking the curse won’t be easy. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, but I’m confident that, with the help of my colleagues and loved ones, I will be able to find the strength to use less offensive forms of expression in my everyday vocabulary to help make Mooseville a pleasant, more peaceful, healthier place for all.


The Mayor

Take the Pledge

If you feel you have formed a bad cursing habit, take the month of April to join the Swear to Not Swear Campaign.






General News

Mooseville Standard

As many of you already know, due to the record-breaking amounts of rainfall and intense flooding Mooseville has suffered these past few weeks, several roads have collapsed. I have issued a state of emergency and have asked City Council to approve measures to help all those who have been affected.

I know the next few weeks will be difficult for our community. We might feel the effects of this tragedy for generations to come but I have faith in Mooseville. I know that we can rise above any challenge if we come together and extend helping hands to our neighbors.

I do not know how long it will take to repair the roads but I will let you know as soon as I have a better understanding of exactly how bad the damage is.

As inconvenient as the next few weeks will be we all know that things could be worse, much worse. Someone could have gotten seriously hurt.

That’s why I’m grateful the only casualties in these unprecedented and unforgiving storms have been the roads. Those we can replace and make stronger than before.

Thank you for your understanding and patience. We will get Mooseville back on track. We will fix our roads.


The Mayor

Stay up-to-date on the status of the roads on MNN or MJR


MDH Launches CHS

Mooseville USA

In Mooseville, we pride ourselves on taking care of each other both physically and mentally. Mental health is an important part of our growth and development as a community, which is why I’m pleased to announce that the Mooseville Department of Health has launched a new program called Creative Health Services, which is now available to Moosevillians.

Please, if you are in need of creative health counseling don’t hesitate to reach out to one of MDH’s qualified counselors who are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Whatever your creative problem, CHS is here to help.

With the help of valuable programs like CHS I’m confident Mooseville will remain healthy, productive, and creatively thriving for many years to come.

– The Mayor


Happy Valentine’s Day


Wishing everyone in Mooseville a lovely Valentine’s Day.

No need to spend a lot of money. No need to stress about getting the right gift. If it’s genuine and from the heart, that’s enough for anyone. And, if it isn’t, dump ’em.

If you don’t have a Valentine, don’t be blue. Love is a sneaky thing that will creep into your heart when you least expect it.

Love to all on this and every day.

The Mayor